Here's some vintage stuff that Chris found while we've been MIA. To make up for my absence, I'll be rewarding you with excerpts from vintage sex books at the end of this post.
We usually don't find home movie cameras that are this big. It's a Keystone Model A-7 from the 1930s. The bicycle license plates are from Wheaties cereal boxes in the 1950s. And the Encyclopedia box was "picked" for us by a neighbor who likes to go to auctions. He also got us the Merck Ether box.
Twin Baby Brownie cameras:
I did some research on this leather pilot's helmet...
And found that it was once worn by the Red Baron:
OK, maybe not.
With "Two Old Bats" in the title, I bet you thought I was going to write about Downton Abbey Season 3, didn't you? No, sorry. These two old bats were both made in Philadelphia. The top one was a promotional item from a boys' clothing store called Goldstein's in South Philly - which is still in business. The bottom is a "Boys Burley" bat that was made in the 1910s by A.J. Reach.
Anyone know a Eddie Snyder, a badass boxer for Shanahan Country Club in Philadelphia?
If you follow me on Facebook, then you may have seen this image that has been violently burned into your brain:
My husband, Chris, bought a bunch of books at an auction, one of which was about Obstetrics. I questioned why this woman had a sheet over her head. Thanks to all of the way-smarter-than-me people on Facebook, I learned that the sheet was to protect her privacy. Makes sense, but there were many other photos of women throughout that book whose faces weren't covered, and who I can now easily identify in a police line-up. If needed.
Anyway, Chris brought home this book last week: Manual of Operative Surgery, written for the Army Medical Department.
The photos & illustrations in it are really gross. Well, hopefully not gross to doctors or nurses or soldiers.
I spotted this photo in a chapter about lung surgery. I blocked out on her breasts, in case you are offended by pancake-sized areolas. But, again, I feel much more shame about the towel on her head. Couldn't they just crop her head out of the photo? (And, yes, that black line is where they are going to cut her open. Good luck with that, lady.)
In another wacky and wonderful book, titled Sane Sex Life & Sane Sex Living, I discovered the reason that women gain weight after getting married.
But before we get to that enlightening revelation, I'd like to point out the publisher of this book: Eugenics Publishing Company. You know about Eugenics, right? That's the thing where WASPy white people (I know - that's redundant) wanted to make sure that only the "best" people bred with each other to ensure a "perfect" line of humans. None of those pesky homosexuals, mentally challenged, Italians, Greeks, Jews, epileptics, and all the rest.
So, this book was written to make sure that sane white people kept reproducing to populate the world with more sane white people.
Insane, isn't it?
What's more insane is that the book says that women get fat after their wedding because of their husband's semen. Also, you should have a sanitary napkin handy after sex.
She should arrange the towel between her thighs, exactly as she would a sanitary napkin, making no attempt to remove the surplus semen at that time, and turn over and go to sleep immediately.
[...]The [bodily] organs themselves will absorb quantities of semen...and it is most healthful and beneficial to them, and to the woman, to have them do so. It is for this cause that many women increase in flesh, and even grow fat after they are married and so can avail themselves of this healthful food.
[...] So, after the act of coition is over, let the woman slip a "bandage" into place as soon as possible, and go to sleep. If she sleeps long, so much the better, so much more will she be benefited by the presence of the semen and its absorption.
Guess what? The whole book is online, so you can read it yourself.
So, go get your garter. No, not the sexy black one - the one that your mom wore when Aunt Flo is visiting.
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Hey, Philly-area locals: come see us at Clover Winter Market in Philly on January 27th!
What a segue, right?!
Buy half-price tickets online now: two for $5
Or, snag a VIP ticket while they last! Early admission, a swag bag and a boozey coffee drink!
There will be food trucks. That's reason enough. Find more info here: Clover Market.

