freshvintage

Paging Dr. A. Willy

Methinks the groundhog will not see his shadow, and winter is almost over, because I scored some primo junk this week. Spring junk. My sister Erin (who was BORN on Groundhog Day) and I went to some outdoor markets and shops in Adamstown a couple of weekends ago. It was freezing, and there weren't many dealers in the outside markets, but we were still able to score a few good finds.

The light blue Steelcase desk and office chair weren't from Adamstown. A friend tipped me off to those. The same friend who tipped me off to the aqua metal desk that I shared on Facebook last year. Nice friend, huh?

I'm tempted to keep this tole-painted chandelier for my kids' playroom in the basement, since the main colors in that room are aqua and orange. But the ceilings are too low. And I don't want the neighbor kids swinging from it (because my children would never do that).

I have to keep this old-timey chrome microphone away from Maeve. She'd be belting out Call Your Girlfriend. And doing all of the moves from the video, which she has nearly perfected.

 This is my second pair of children's skis by Peters.

Chris and I were watching Hell on Wheels a few weeks ago, and we noticed that a railroad surveyor was holding up extremely tall measuring sticks. When I spotted this pair at the flea market, I had to have them. 

Chris found a website called Surveying Antiques, and saw one of our measuring sticks right there in the header of their website, and here in these photos.

The one with the black & white painted numbers extends to 13 feet! Any ideas on how you would use these? I was thinking you could put them along a wall and add hooks. Or, if you were ballsy enough, you could cut them into four pieces and frame an old mirror.

Here's a Brownie Hawkeye camera with flash, and a "Big Community" file box:


Is it bad that I've purchased at least ten copies of How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life in the past five years? And I still don't know how to attain it OR how to practice it. I am unteachable. (But if you have the urge to be taught, I have a copy for sale in my Etsy shop.)

And then there is my other book - the Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex. Big thanks to you lovely ladies who pointed out that the first author is named Dr. A. Willy, after I posted a picture of this book on Facebook. What would I ever do without you?

Most of the pictures in the book are run-of-the-mill cross-sections of crotches. Bo-ring. But there were two pages that I had to scan. Just for you.

This page shows the Sexual Excitation of a man. I just love the picture in his brain. Do men really daydream of piles of women awkwardly laying on top of each other?

I don't even want to write about this next picture, because Google will bring perverted people searching for disgusting things. Kind of like me at a yard sale.

Figure C-9 depicts the causes of nocturnal losses of semen. Losses. Like he lost something. "Dammit - where did I put that semen again? It's the middle of the night and I can't find my semen!"

Let us zoom in on my favorite part of this page - the idea that wet dreams are caused by a "Dinner of Exciting Foods".  And the picture is inside a stomach. I wonder what his exciting meal is. Lobster? Foie Gras? 

Let's be real - he is totally watching a porn in front of his TV while eating a Hungry Man frozen dinner. 

And on to my next big sex book score...one about the Amish's Curious Courtship Custom of Bundling. (Okay, okay, I know all of my Amish readers are going to correct me - this is NOT really a sex book.) I had never heard of this custom, but as soon as I opened the book and saw the photo below, I knew it was a keeper.

Bundling is a very old tradition in which young men and women would lay together in bed, but weren't allowed to touch. So, they were totally acting like they were already married, right?  

Here's an illustration of the various forms of "decreasing temptations between bundlers" across different cultures (it wasn't just the Amish who practiced this custom).

 

The lady's body sack is the Amish version of worn-out, comfy sweatpants. Once the drawstring on those sweats from college are tied, there is no chance of any funny business.  And you know that the dude in the couple's sack is going to be looking for something he "lost" later that night (see Figure C-9).

At the end of the book was this image:

So, it's not acceptable to touch each other in bed, but it's okay for a girl to hump a railing in the presence of a man. And check him out....he's all like "Come over here, and hump this fence post instead of that rail. It's way better."

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P.S. Happy Birthday to my sister Erin (Groundhog Baby) and Happy 40th Birthday to her husband Doug, whose birthday is February 3rd! I hope you both celebrate with a Dinner of Exciting Foods, followed by a night of passionate bundling!

Hurricane Preparation Tips for Lazy Antique Dealers

Here are a few tips on how to prepare your home for a hurricane, specifically for people who can't fit another damn thing in their garage.

Tip #1: Tie down everything on your deck or patio

Here's what my deck normally looks like:

Here's what it looks like now:

Most of my neighbors were able to actually put all of their furniture into their garages. I know - that is AMAZING! Like a miracle sent straight from God Himself. Not us, we bought some super-strong bungee cords and secured all of our furniture directly to the deck railings. I bet my neighbors are all in pain right now, from all that heavy-lifting. Bungee cords, dummies!

Tip #2: Move all of the junk that is on your front porch into your living room

Maybe your husband reads your blog and found out that you like typewriter tables, so he bought you every one within a fifty-mile radius. And since your garage is packed, you were storing the tables on your front porch, right next to your front door. Because that's where you like to do your typing. Anyway, just drag that junk inside, and plop it anywhere.

Tip #3: Keep the heaviest stuff on the porch because you are lazy

If you have any super heavy iron hospital beds, and you are too tried and hungover to bring them inside, just lay them down on the porch. If you get a second wind later in the day, you might want to bungee cord those to a porch column or something sturdy.

Tip #4: Don't buy a vintage camper on eBay and then send your husband and brother-in-law to pick it up in Michigan three days before a major hurricane. And then don't buy the biggest tarp in the history of tarps, and make your tired husband cover the camper, even though he had just towed it 700 miles in the rain, and there were no leaks.

Can't wait to show you what it looks like! I want to make sure it survives the hurricane first. Don't want to get my hopes up.

Happy Fourth of July Weekend!

I hope all of you in the U.S. are enjoying the long weekend.

We are celebrating Maeve's 7th birthday with a sleepover and my attempt at the cheesiest patriotic birthday cake ever made...

Making blueberry-filled ice balls for our neighbors' patio party, with berries straight from my brother-in-law's family farm...

Remember my Christmastime cranberry & mint ice balls? I used the same molds. 

(By the way, "blueberry-filled ice balls" take too long to say. Let's call them Blue Balls.)

And, we hit a yard sale or two this morning. We scored an oh-so-apropos 48-star flag. But, our favorite find is the metal "No Grab-Ass Around The POOL" sign.

It makes me want to build a pool, just so I can hang the sign. Come to think of it, our neighbor mentioned that she's going to have a kiddie pool at the patio party - I hope she doesn't mind if I bring this sign.

P.S. I made a Pinterest board with some of my favorite red, white and blue finds that have been featured on my blog. Are you using Pinterest? Let me know, and I will follow your boards.

Chris' Totally Awesome Auction Finds

Here is one week's worth of Chris' auction wins. Well, the good stuff, anyway. He seriously bought all of this without my help. I know - crazy! I am a little embarrassed because it is way better than most of the stuff that I've scored lately.

He paid $114 for everything in this photo.  Except for the green & white rug - that is ours and it is from Walmart.

 

He bought a pair of these Vulcan Horse Nails boxes, but already sold one last week at Perkiomenville Auction & Flea Market. That was his first attempt at selling by himself, and he did a great job. He said that he seemed to sell more than any of the other vendors. Which probably means that his prices were too low. All of the other dealers swept in and bought some new inventory for their tables. Whatevs. We got rid of a lot of stuff that we didn't want anymore, or wouldn't sell at the store. Including this super cool, but extremely smelly red trunk that Chris bought for five dollars at an auction.

He knows I have a thing for metal office card catalogs...

But this one is extra-special because it has a huge stack of index cards used by for clothing sales. See the dates along the top (1940, 1941, 1942, etc.)? There is also an S and F for each year, which specifies whether the purchase was for the Spring or Fall.

This tattered & taped-up little book about Paris was purchased in 1918.

How do I know that? A family member put this label inside the back cover:

It is filled with colorized photos of French landmarks.

 

And a few other travel books...

Chris bought a box full of James Keiller & Son's Dundee Marmalade jars and Wm O. Hartley's Marmalade crocks. Most of the labels on the Hartley crocks are completely or partially missing, but there are a few that have the label intact. I'm not sure what those are worth, since there aren't many to be found online. Have you ever seen the Hartley crocks before?

He also bought two industrial work stools made by Lyon.

This Calf-teria bucket makes me want to buy a cow so I can milk it into this bucket.

 

A pair of wooden folding chairs:

I love the red-orange-black patina on these.

Turn-of-the-century lidded box from J.S. Ivins' Son Steam Bakery in Philadelphia. I wonder what steamed goodies filled that box back in the day.

Chris knows that I like to buy feed sacks or grain sacks or any kind of sack when I see them. We bought a lot of 24 five-pound sugar sacks at an estate sale a few weeks ago. I'll show you those in a future post.

But when he texted me a photo from the auction of a huge galvanized tub filled with these grass seed sacks, I almost peed my pants. Most are green, and some are white. They aren't all in good shape, but they are really cool, even with a few stains and fading. There's around 30 of them.

Speaking of sacks, when Chris was in college, he and his friends played a drinking game that involved a box of wine. Before I even continue, I bet you have the same question - why the hell would college-age men even buy a box of wine? My theory is that they stole it from someone's mother. Anyway, they would take the inner bag out of the box. And then they would just pass the bag of wine around to each other and each person would drink from the spigot. They called it Lick the Sack. With a name like that, I guess it could have been much worse.

Swizzle, Dribble and Hump

I thought I'd share a few of my more humorous finds of late.

This is a set of seven books in the Plain Language Money-making series. My favorites are "How to Scheme Your Way into Profit" and "How to Legally Avoid Paying Taxes". These are from the 1960s, so I think some laws have changed since then (probably because of these books). To the man at Clover Market who bought them from me: Please don't drag me into any future law suits!

 

Boy, was I happy to find this sign. I am hoping it will once and for all keep the perverts from approaching my minivan. I'm always like "Get your leg off my bumper, you dirtbag!" Now, I can just point to this sign tucked into my windshield:

I bought it from the same dealer who sold me the Beaver Heaters.  Here's what the sign really means. Should I still put it in my window? Probably not. I don't feel like explaining it to the kids.

But really, why the hell should I be worried about explaining the word "hump" when I should be more concerned about the look on my daughter's face after a woman told her that she could have these "butt sticks" for free at a yard sale.

Oh, the joy!

And, just to clarify, it was Maeve who referred to them as butt sticks, not the woman.

Maeve was SO EXCITED to show them to her friends when we got back from the yard sale. She ran into the backyard and was all like, "Hey guys, look at my butt sticks!" You would have thought that someone handed her a bunch of Zoobles, or maybe some new Wii game. Nope, just four vintage "Bottoms Up" swizzle sticks. THAT I SAW FIRST!

I bought this giant pin just because it had 69 on it.  Purely a Beavis and Butt-head moment.

This is the second Dribble Glass that I've found in the past six months. I think these glasses are funny, but the text on the box drastically overstates the humor: "The funniest of all funny jokes" and "The funniest joke you ever saw...The victim just drools...Doesn't know what's wrong".

I am not showing a photo of the actual glass, because I want to try it out on my neighbors the next time they come over for a drink. I can't wait for someone to say "I don't know what's wrong!", and then frantically dial 911 because he thinks he's having a stroke. Now that would be funny. I mean, strokes aren't funny. Not at all. But someone thinking that they are having a stroke but they are really just drinking from a dribble glass is definitely funny.

Road Trippin'

We had another successful outing at the Clover Market last week! This was Chris' first time selling with me and and I am happy to report that we did not kill each other. This was also our first time using Square to process a few credit card purchases, and it worked perfectly.

Our theme this time was "Summer Road Trip". It really should have been "Ohmigod, That's a Hell of a Lot of Vintage Metal Lawn Chairs", but that doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

In keeping with the summer vacation theme, I made price signs that looked like the old "Greetings From" postcards. And I asked every person who walked into our tent, "Are we there yet? How much further? I need to pee really bad."

I only had a few things that actually went with my theme, including a stack of souvenir state plates, postcards and my Florida tablecloths. I sold all five of them (I kept the pink and aqua one for myself).  

I love these souvenir postcard booklets - they all have the same style of vibrant images. I sold a few of those.

And let's assume that you like to go fishing on your summer road trip. Well, here are enough minnow buckets to bait a great white.

Here's my husband, Chris, manning the register in front of our neighbor's Tastykake truck:

Since we had the truck, I figured I had to bring some Tastykakes. The box of mini coconut donuts went really fast.

There's that Gimbel's sewing machine that I gave you a glimpse of on Facebook.

I couldn't find much information about it, but I think it was from the late fifties/early sixties. It actually works.  And it came with a matching sewing accessories tin.

 

I designated this area the "Granny Corner" because of the chair and the hanging light fixture and the birdcage. Apparently, this Granny is an archer, because she has a quiver on her shelf.

Isn't this feed sack totally awesome? I love the colors. We found this in Galena, Maryland.

We had a bunch of little bags of random game pieces and flashcards for sale, too. They are always great sellers for us.

That reminds me - I'd like to give a special shout-out to the man who opened all of the two-dollar Scrabble bags, dumped them onto our table, and then asked how much it would cost to buy just the letter "T".

Oh - and another shout-out to the lady who wanted my circus signs (in the photo below). You wanted a 50% discount on something that costs $5. And when Chris said no to your offer, you said "But it is just a piece of cardboard!" Thanks for that. We had a good laugh.

And I'd like to give huge non-sarcastic shout-out to all of the people who admired our nine metal lawn chairs. It was nice to hear so many people getting all nostalgic over the chairs that their mom or grandpa or uncle used to have. And it was fun to hear three different people talk about the tiny squares that the woven-style chairs would leave on the backs of their thighs when they sat on them as children. We didn't sell any of the chairs, so I brought them straight to Brandywine View. They look really cute all lined up along the wrap-around porch there.

Our neighbor, Mike, kindly drove the truck to Clover in the morning, and we followed in our minivan. And then he told us that we could drive the truck home on the way back. One problem - there is no passenger seat. My tufted yellow chair didn't sell, so we wedged it in the aisle between the shelves that lined the back of the truck. It was comfy, but a little tough to see out the front window since it is so low. Oh - and also a little dangerous because tufted yellow chairs don't come with seat belts.

Here we are after a long day. We will be back at Clover Market on October 16. Please come see us again!

My attempt to squeeze some antiquing into our family trip

Here's some of the lovely junk that I picked up during my vacation in April. My in-laws met us in Savannah, and we all drove back to Pennsylvania in our minivan: four adults, two kids and lots of luggage. This did not stop us from filling any available space in the van on the way home from Georgia. The cubbies and the green cart (pictured below) were not purchased on the road trip. Those were found a few days later while we were antiquing at some local shops. But I was still on vacation, so I am counting those in my pile of "vacation finds". And I didn't even take pictures of the stuff that my antique-dealing in-laws bought. They had to ship a few boxes back to Yakima!

I love this metal No Parking sign - it was hung along the streets of D.C. during Johnson's Inauguration. My dad was involved in politics long ago, so I am always attracted to stuff like this. I found this at Keepsake Corner in Selma, NC. (Hi, Amy!)

At the same shop, I found a pair of Peters' red children's skis and poles from their Juvenile Ski Line. Skis are always a huge seller in the winter. My grandfather, dad, brother and nephew are named Peter. And I have a Peter Heater.

Would you like to touch my Pet Coolie...

sign? I said, "my Pet Coolie sign", you pervert.

Coolie fruit drinks were made by Pet Diary, and came in little cartons that were served in school cafeterias. We didn't have Pet Diary in NJ growing up. Did you ever drink a Coolie? Chris bought this enamel sign at Reid's Country Sampler in Selma, NC.

Cubbies! I have no idea what they were used for, but I think there used to be a door on the front.

This Golden Seal blanket still has its original $1.95 price tag. The colors are right up my alley.

My father-in-law, Jim, told me that this green cart was used on the Railway Express Agency.

 I immediately pictured some poor soul dragging it along railroad tracks across a barren stretch of land, a la O Brother Where Art Thou. But, of course, I was wrong. Railway Express Agency was the train version of FedEx. This cart was used to move freight & packages to the trains for delivery. It was not actually used on the tracks, dummy.

There's been a lot of hub-bub lately about finding vintage dressforms. Well, I found one, too! Meet Sally Stitch. I adopted her from the enormous Blue Crow Antique Mall along the Eastern Shore of Virginia. Sally sat snugly between the kids in the back row of our minivan during the last 5 hours of the trip home. They hate her.

I found this mantel shelf at Blue Crow, too. My father-in-law kept telling me not to buy it because "they are a dime a dozen". Maybe in Yakima, Jim, but not in PA! That long white thing beneath it is a painted safe deposit box with a key.

How about this porcelain shower head!? Have you ever seen one before? It looks like a giant cabinet knob with tiny holes. The milk glass jars came straight from Mary Kay Andrew's booth at Seaside Sisters. I'm trying to decide if I should keep them or sell. I love the blue lids and art deco style.

I love this basketball chalkboard by Korney Board Aids (I know - weird name). I found this in Selma, NC at His n' Hers Antiques.

I grew up with a dad who was obsessed with basketball. We went to Sixers games and we watched college basketball, especially the Big Five teams from Philly. My Dad still has the Villanova NCAA Championship game from 1985 that he videotaped while we were on vacation in Florida. We just wanted to go to the pool and meet boys, but he insisted that we watch this local team upset Georgetown.

My sister, Erin, and I played basketball in grade school and in high school. But, guess what? We went to different high schools, so we played against each other. It was a big family occasion when our teams duked it out. In one of our first games, Erin drove up for a shot. I immediately put my hands in front of her eyes and screamed into her face. She was way taller than me, so it was the only thing I could do to prevent her from scoring. And I didn't touch her, so it wasn't a foul. She missed the shot, and was furious. She got all pissy, and her coach took her out of the game. Woo-woo!! I loved watching her face turn the same color as her red hair. She one-upped me when she went on to play in college and was really good and won championships and whatnot.

But, sometimes when we are at yard sales together and we both see something good at the same time, I cover her eyes and yell into her face. Aw yeah...I still got it!

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Here's a list of the stores that we enjoyed on our trip. There were a few others that we visited, but they might have been too expensive for us, or just weren't our style.  And believe me, I wish there were many, many more on this list. But, as my husband had to constantly remind me, this was a family trip, not an antique-buying trip. Buzzkill.

Georgia

• Seaside Sisters, Tybee Island
• Wright Square Antique Mall, Savannah
• Paris Market & Brocante, Savannah (the only thing I bought was the metal number 4 in the top photo, but I LOVED this place.)

Selma, North Carolina (all within two blocks)

• His n' Hers Antiques
• Reid's Country Sampler
• Keepsake Corner

Virginia's Eastern Shore

• Antique Addicts, Exmore
• Blue Crow Antique Mall, Keller

Fabulous Memories of Florida

Chris and I went to an estate sale last week. He spotted these tablecloths first, and then beckoned me into a room that was filled with Florida souvenirs and flamingos. There must have been at least fifty Florida state plates, along with trays, salt and pepper shakers, signs, glasses, flamingo-shaped cheese spreaders and more. Most of the stuff was not vintage. These were the best of the bunch, and I can't believe they were still at the sale when we got there.

Six 1950's souvenir Florida tablecloths. All in relatively good condition (one has light stains, and one is half-faded).

I bought two of these, one square and one rectangular:

This pink and aqua one is my absolute favorite:

So, what makes this stash of Florida tablecloths so special to me? Especially today?

Chris and I were married in Key West, Florida TEN years ago today! 

We picked Key West because we knew that half of our guests were going to have to fly somewhere (since I am from NJ and Chris is from Washington). Neither of us had ever been to Key West before we chose it, but we knew that it was a fun place.

About six months before the wedding, I took trip there with my mom and sister, Heather. That's when we picked out the venues for the ceremony and reception and got to taste all of the yummy food. We kept the wedding party simple. Chris asked his childhood friend, Mark, to be his best man. My sister Erin was my matron of honor, and I told her to wear whatever she wanted. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. Tons of drama averted.

I thought I'd show you some photos, and let you know the Top Ten absolute favorite parts of our wedding experience:

1. The sixty fabulous people who flew from all over the country (including Hawaii!) to attend our wedding. What is the best part of having a destination wedding? Only fun people come to your wedding.

2. The roosters that were casually walking around our ceremony. Instead of "I do", all you could hear was "I cock-a-doodle-do".

3. The Junkanoo band that led our guests from the ceremony at the Audubon House to the reception across the street at the Westin (which was a Hilton when we were there).

4. Our outdoor sunset reception, where the photographer made us take corny photos like this one of us kissing each other through the setting sun.

5. My bright orange and yellow and red flowers.

6. Our big brown wedding cake. We love chocolate and it was our wedding, dammit! White cakes are for wussies.

7. Going out to the bars after the wedding. At Irish Kevin's, the owner/entertainer Kevin recognized me from a few nights earlier during my mini-bachelorette party. He invited us on stage and bought Chris an Irish car bomb (a pint of Guinness with a shot of whiskey dropped into it). I still can't believe he chugged it so fast. Yes, I was still wearing my veil.

8. Honeymooning in Jamaica. We had spent five days in Key West, so we planned a "real" honeymoon without our families in tow. This was the view outside our window: a private island owned by the resort. You had to be nude (or at least topless) to go there. We did not go.

9. My wedding gift for Chris? Binoculars.

10. My husband, who puts up with my nonsense. I love you even though you were trying to look at nude women on our honeymoon. Here's to ten more years! (And maybe some more after that.)

Doors, Doll Chests and an X-Rated Chalkboard

These were my finds from two weekends ago. It was a whirlwind trip to two township-wide yard sales and one barn sale. I had the kids with me, which meant less room for furniture purchases, and a greater need for random crappy toy bribes to keep them occupied. But the upside is that they always provide some comic relief.

I paid $56 for everything in this photo (not the black bench on the right - that's all mine!). I bought the chippy blue door at a barn sale, which happened to be the same place where I bought that black bench last year.

I love this green McCoy Windowpane bowl. It has a hairline crack in the side and it was only five bucks. I might keep it for myself.

I still can't figure out this tole painted wreath with a metal bow and leaves. It looks old, and is a little chipped, but I don't know its origin. The flowers seem to be sculpted of clay, but the rest of it is metal. Has anyone seen this before? I gave it to my mom for Mother's Day because it matches her decor. Oh - that's right, I already said that all of these things cost me a total of $56 dollars. Just so you know, Mom - this cost me $55. Everything else in these pictures cost a dime each.

These two charts are from the Pennsylvania Game Commission, circa 1965: Birds of Prey and Marsh and Water Birds.

That brown lamp is a Dazor Floating Fixture, and it super heavy. I bought it for two bucks, because it needs re-wiring.

Yeah, I realize now that the door is upside down in this photo.

This light blue wooden box has a paper-covered insert. When Lisa from Brandywine View Antiques saw it, she said it was a doll chest. And it would be worth over $100 if someone didn't paint it light blue.

What do you think was the first thing that my 8-year-old, Finn, noticed when he looked at this chalkboard?

"Ass Toys", of course. Which is really Cass Toys. I can't wait to see the Google Search traffic from that phrase.

I've sold a few of these letter holders in the past. This is a neat-o way to organize papers and magazines.

I had all of my stuff on the front porch when I took the photos that I just showed you.

I am planning to leave the blue door right there, to distract and confuse the Jehovah's Witnesses who visit us every few months. I am hoping that they will knock on the blue door, and no one will answer. And they will take their pamphlets and leave. The odd thing is that they don't knock on any of our neighbors' doors. It's like they have our names on a special list that has the phrase "MUST BE SAVED" rubber-stamped across the top.

Dear Whomever Bought the Cement Blessed Mary Statue: Please return ASAP! We need to put her on our porch so that people think we are saved. Thank you.

A Celebration of Vintage Green

Happy St. Patty's Day!

We celebrate this day each year with a little party, because my husband and I are Irish, my favorite color is green, my middle name is Patricia and my first name means "girl" in Gaelic. And we like to have fun and drink (sometimes in excess, but always responsibly) with our friends and family.

To celebrate, let's have a look back at a few of my favorite green vintage finds.

Clover brand green truck:

Chippy green server/table:

Seafoam green colander:

One of Erin's finds: an apple green desk:

Well, this one's not vintage, but it is a familiar backdrop to a lot of my photos. It's my green kitchen:

 

Chris' find - the green 1950s girl's bike:

Page from an Origami Scrapbook:

Rolling factory shelves:

 

Green Haeger pitcher, green fan, green metal trays, & jadite swirl bowl:

Green metal box with spice tins:

Green stool & colander:

Green dresser (that I lined with vintage wallpaper):

And some special guests would like to wish you a Happy St. Patrick's Day, too. My red-headed sister, Erin, and her goofy husband, Doug. (He is actually holding my glass of wine that was tinted with a drop of green food dye.)

I'd be willing to bet that he is somehow related to St. Patrick.