freshvintage

Paging Dr. A. Willy

Methinks the groundhog will not see his shadow, and winter is almost over, because I scored some primo junk this week. Spring junk. My sister Erin (who was BORN on Groundhog Day) and I went to some outdoor markets and shops in Adamstown a couple of weekends ago. It was freezing, and there weren't many dealers in the outside markets, but we were still able to score a few good finds.

The light blue Steelcase desk and office chair weren't from Adamstown. A friend tipped me off to those. The same friend who tipped me off to the aqua metal desk that I shared on Facebook last year. Nice friend, huh?

I'm tempted to keep this tole-painted chandelier for my kids' playroom in the basement, since the main colors in that room are aqua and orange. But the ceilings are too low. And I don't want the neighbor kids swinging from it (because my children would never do that).

I have to keep this old-timey chrome microphone away from Maeve. She'd be belting out Call Your Girlfriend. And doing all of the moves from the video, which she has nearly perfected.

 This is my second pair of children's skis by Peters.

Chris and I were watching Hell on Wheels a few weeks ago, and we noticed that a railroad surveyor was holding up extremely tall measuring sticks. When I spotted this pair at the flea market, I had to have them. 

Chris found a website called Surveying Antiques, and saw one of our measuring sticks right there in the header of their website, and here in these photos.

The one with the black & white painted numbers extends to 13 feet! Any ideas on how you would use these? I was thinking you could put them along a wall and add hooks. Or, if you were ballsy enough, you could cut them into four pieces and frame an old mirror.

Here's a Brownie Hawkeye camera with flash, and a "Big Community" file box:


Is it bad that I've purchased at least ten copies of How to Attain and Practice the Ideal Sex Life in the past five years? And I still don't know how to attain it OR how to practice it. I am unteachable. (But if you have the urge to be taught, I have a copy for sale in my Etsy shop.)

And then there is my other book - the Illustrated Encyclopedia of Sex. Big thanks to you lovely ladies who pointed out that the first author is named Dr. A. Willy, after I posted a picture of this book on Facebook. What would I ever do without you?

Most of the pictures in the book are run-of-the-mill cross-sections of crotches. Bo-ring. But there were two pages that I had to scan. Just for you.

This page shows the Sexual Excitation of a man. I just love the picture in his brain. Do men really daydream of piles of women awkwardly laying on top of each other?

I don't even want to write about this next picture, because Google will bring perverted people searching for disgusting things. Kind of like me at a yard sale.

Figure C-9 depicts the causes of nocturnal losses of semen. Losses. Like he lost something. "Dammit - where did I put that semen again? It's the middle of the night and I can't find my semen!"

Let us zoom in on my favorite part of this page - the idea that wet dreams are caused by a "Dinner of Exciting Foods".  And the picture is inside a stomach. I wonder what his exciting meal is. Lobster? Foie Gras? 

Let's be real - he is totally watching a porn in front of his TV while eating a Hungry Man frozen dinner. 

And on to my next big sex book score...one about the Amish's Curious Courtship Custom of Bundling. (Okay, okay, I know all of my Amish readers are going to correct me - this is NOT really a sex book.) I had never heard of this custom, but as soon as I opened the book and saw the photo below, I knew it was a keeper.

Bundling is a very old tradition in which young men and women would lay together in bed, but weren't allowed to touch. So, they were totally acting like they were already married, right?  

Here's an illustration of the various forms of "decreasing temptations between bundlers" across different cultures (it wasn't just the Amish who practiced this custom).

 

The lady's body sack is the Amish version of worn-out, comfy sweatpants. Once the drawstring on those sweats from college are tied, there is no chance of any funny business.  And you know that the dude in the couple's sack is going to be looking for something he "lost" later that night (see Figure C-9).

At the end of the book was this image:

So, it's not acceptable to touch each other in bed, but it's okay for a girl to hump a railing in the presence of a man. And check him out....he's all like "Come over here, and hump this fence post instead of that rail. It's way better."

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P.S. Happy Birthday to my sister Erin (Groundhog Baby) and Happy 40th Birthday to her husband Doug, whose birthday is February 3rd! I hope you both celebrate with a Dinner of Exciting Foods, followed by a night of passionate bundling!

Chiclets, My Pimp and Hideous Babies

We were supposed to use our camper for the first time last weekend, but the forecast was RAIN! FLOODS! LOCUSTS! We cancelled our camping plans, and, of course, it only ended up raining on Friday afternoon. The rest of the weekend was just fine. Damn you, Hurricane Schwartz straight to hell!

The upside, and it's a good one, was that I was able to hit the Antiques Extravaganza in Adamstown on Sunday morning (a thrice-yearly super-duper weekend at my favorite antiquing trifecta: Renninger's, Black Angus and Shupp's Grove).

I spent $37 for everything in this picture. Click on it to enlarge.

I'm kidding! Wouldn't you hate me?! I would hate me!

I actually spent a bit more than I normally spend. But I saw so many things that I wanted. And I have Clover Market coming up on October 16th, so I need to stock up. And, most importantly, I didn't want the good stuff ending up with some loser, so I had to rescue them. For their own safety.

By the way - the table that everything is sitting on was a previous purchase. It is an old table that came from a pizza shop. It is awesome.

That cubby thing on the right was made from scraps of old boxes. You can see the stenciling here (it says "glass", not "ass"):

This bucket bench has a unique design...with the rounded picket corners and the criss-cross bottom boards. I am picturing it on someone's front porch, with a row of colorful mums and pumpkins sitting on top. Hmmm...maybe I'll keep it.

This litho bucket caught my eye. I've never seen one like this.

My maiden name is Burke. And I like Ale. So, I obviously needed to rescue this wooden crate.

I'm not quite sure why I bought all of these crocheted potholder thingies. There are some nice colors in there. And they were fairly inexpensive.

I know exactly why I bought the Pelican Cooler (that has an intact glass liner). Can't you just picture it sitting on the counter?

I also found this painted mahogany two-tiered table, these orange & white napkins and the orange desk lamp:

The seat of this 1950s chrome stool was originally painted aqua, to match the stripes around the edges. Someone painted it white and totally defaced it with a hideous decal, which I promptly removed with a few squirts of Goof Off.

I would keep this if my husband wore ties regularly. Alas, he is more of an outdoorsman-woodsman type. This tie rack made by Nu-Dell in 1937 has a dial that offers you fashion advice, based on the color of your tie.

I don't know anyone, other than my pimp, who can pull off a black & red tie with a gray shirt and a blue suit. But times were different in 1937.

 
I've always wanted an old candy rack for displaying my ephemera and other paper goods at sales like Clover.

Each of the gum graphics are made of metal:

Yes, another dress form. I sold the last one I bought, so this is her replacement. She is an Acme junior-sized dress form.  And she is standing next to an awesome green-painted library cart. On casters!

Sitting on that shelf is Harriet Hubbard Ayer's Book, published in 1899. It is about women's beauty & hygiene.

What kind of super cool lady doesn't even have a title for her book? It's like if I published a book called Colleen Allison's Book. I know - it has best-seller written all over it.

I could devote an entire blog to Harriet's book. (No, not a blog post  - an entire blog). She has one chapter called "The Sin of Dowdiness". These quotes are all from one page in that chapter:

"There is nothing so fatal to a girl's chances as untidiness." [A bad case of The Clap is a close second.]

"Freckles are not pretty, and they are practically there to stay."

"The complexion of the red-haired girl is her most serious drawback. It lends itself to untidiness, so the victim must be careful to keep it looking clean and well cared for."" [So sorry, my dear red-headed sister/victim, Erin.]

"If my little red-headed girl has not nice teeth, she should have them repaired and made pretty and wholesome".  [But I guess snaggle-toothed blondes are acceptable?]

This is from a chapter called "How to Sleep". Yes - A WHOLE CHAPTER!

Not only did she dole out beauty advice, but she also gave out motherly advice - like how to ensure that your hideously-deformed, pug-nosed, disgustingly-ugly baby grows up with a pretty nose:

 

Yes, the crazy bitch is telling you to SQUEEZE your baby's nose. Like, all the time.

And don't forget about those hideous ears! Either strap them down with a specially-made bonnet for Dumbo-eared babies, or just pin them back with your hands.

I'll have to keep reading to see if she has any sound advice on douching. The advice from my last womanly book made me itchy.

Junk Beautiful Book Review & Alltop Design

It isn't officially released until tomorrow, but I got my hands on a copy of the JUNKMARKET ladies' new book, Junk Beautiful. Their second book has 204 big pages of original ideas on using junk to transform rooms into beautiful and creative spaces. The book has nine chapters of makeovers, each in a different area of the house. The design and instructions are fun and lively, and the photography captures every vintage detail.

The book is filled with great decorating ideas for entire rooms, as well as detailed instructions and photos for each project. After finishing the book, I came away with a list of items that I often see at thrift stores and estate sales, but never would have purchased. Now, I have a reason to buy chicken feeders, casters, antique hand drills, camp toasters and so much more.

My favorite chapter is the "Laundry Lounge", where the junk gals transform a dingy laundry room into a bright & vintage-inspired craft room/laundromat. And that's where you'll find my favorite idea in the whole book: a croquet set used as a broom holder. I used to pass over croquet sets at yard sales because they are missing balls or mallets. Not anymore. Now I'm determined to find out if my Swiffer Wet Jet handle is the same size as a croquet mallet.

Sue & Ki will be demonstrating their junk style on the Today Show on March 27th. Don't forget to watch!

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I have some great news to share. The freshvintage blog was added to a new website called Alltop. The site is a summary of the most recent posts from the top blogs in a wide array of categories, such as sports, parenting, music, movies, education and wine. freshvintage is listed in the Design section, along with many of my favorites: decor8, Design*Sponge, Design Mom and Sk*rt. You can think of Alltop as a dashboard for stories from sites that you love, as well as sites that you've never heard of.

Alltop was created by Guy Kawasaki, an entrepreneur, speaker, eight-time author and all-around super-smart internet guru. Guy also created the site Truemors. His blog is one of the top 100 most-read blogs in the entire universe! Guess what mine is ranked? 62,410!  Maybe being on Alltop will give me some street cred, so that I can at least break into the fifty thousands.

[Have a blog? See where yours ranks on Technorati by typing your blog's web address into the search box.]

Book Review: Garage Sale America

I wouldn't exactly call myself an avid reader. I'd much rather sleep or play Poppit. But imagine my delight when I heard about a new book all about yard sales! I simply had to have it. In Garage Sale America, author Bruce Littlefield chronicles his adventures in yard-saling across the US. His book is divided into two sections. In the first, Bruce shares all of his finds from his visits to the World's Largest Yard Sale (Warrensburg, NY), the World's Longest Yard Sale (along route 127), and various barn sales and tag sales. The pages are peppered with yard-saling tips for buyers and sellers, as well as information about a few collectibles, like marbles, Bakelite, fishing lures, buttons, and Barbies. 

The second part of the book is filled with pictures of Bruce's home (more like a compound) in upstate New York which he furnished with yard sale finds. I'm going to steal his idea of using a roll-up world map (one that probably hung in a classroom) as a window shade. I also love the vintage postcard holder to display favorite postcards.

I like this book because it is almost blog-like in its format. It is conversational and has lots of pictures, stories, fun ideas and tips. I actually bought a copy for my mom and my mother-in-law! I didn't want to lend them my book because I wanted to keep it for myself.

My absolute favorite part of the book is the two-page photo spread of the contents of the Penske truck that he rented when he visited the World's Longest Yard Sale. He lists everything he purchased and how much he paid for each item. Now, that's my idea of a hot centerfold! I know...pretty sad, huh?

Take a look at Bruce's cool website and blog...