Hi! This is Colleen's sister, Erin. My 10-year-old daughter, Fiona, has recently noticed that Aunt Colleen enjoys vintage medical and how-to books...like, how to be a good wife, etiquette books, etc. I told her that Colleen thinks they are funny because the "facts" they mention are so outdated and the advice is not always in a woman's favor. So, last week when she saw my How to Manage Syphilis books laying around, ready to go to the freshvintage shop, she asked why syphilis was funny. I told her it was an outdated disease from long ago...and then quickly hid them. She laughs with me like a girlfriend, "Oh, that is funny mom." I'm just glad she didn't see the pictures inside those books. Not funny at all.
Next thing I know, she is on the hunt for "funny" books. This is what my little picker brought home from the school library - and actually suggested she renew it and bring to the shop to sell... I don't think the librarian would like that. Needless to say, she is BEYOND thrilled that Aunt Colleen asked her to blog about her find.
Hey, Readers! I'm Fiona, Colleen's niece and I have a surprise for you! I love my Aunt Colleen, and when I see pictures of her in high school, I say to myself, "Golly, I wonder how she got THIS cool!". I found the answer to my question, right in my elementary school library. The Makeover - A Teen's Guide To Looking and Feeling Beautiful.
This "no-nonsense" book is filled with vintage tips and pointers on everything from vintage diet to vintage exercise!
Yes, Aunt Colleen must have read this book in high school: [Fiona asked me to insert a high-haired teenage photo here - Colleen.]
Aunt Colleen learned how to "sit and stoop beautifully" with these 3 steps and handy illustrations on proper posture for a young lady. Strap on your leotard and let's get started, girls! Guaranteed to make the boys say, "Look, who's that coming down the street?" (Also, that's the name of Chapter 7: "Look Who's Coming Down the Street".)
I always admired how Aunt Colleen takes on and off her coat or jacket... and there on page 153, I found the answer! It's all in the lapels, ladies!
Finally, Page 51, Getting to Know your Birthday Suit. This is where we learn that the skin is the largest organ of our body and how to "enhance your natural beauty with cosmetics". Aunt Colleen's book must really work, not only did it turn Colleen into a beautiful antiquer, but it turned this young boy into a beautiful swan.
Thanks, Aunt Colleen, for teaching me to hunt for vintage comedy books in the library!
Thank you, Fiona! I was always putting my coat on wrong until I read this book. I kept putting my feet through the arm holes.
I'm so glad you are perpetuating the silliness bestowed upon you when your parents named you Fiona Colleen!
Love,
Aunt Colleen
PS: If a book was published ten years after I was born, I'd prefer not to call it "vintage". When you are 40 years old and have your own vintage blog, you'll know what I'm talking about.
PS, Part II: You can read more about Fiona's dad's family history here. It's kind of bizarre.
OMG. The apple (or acorn) (or butternut squash) doesn't fall far from the tree. Fiona, you a definitely an offspring of your mother and aunts (and uncle) (and Dad). Love your sense of humor!!!
Aunt Maryellen
Posted by: Maryellen Rorke | March 04, 2013 at 07:19 PM
That was hilarious! Loved it!
Posted by: Cristi Edwards | March 04, 2013 at 08:03 PM
Y'all are a "hoot". Makes me wish I had a niece to get silly with. thank Fiona, too
Posted by: billi | March 04, 2013 at 08:16 PM
Great job Fiona!
Posted by: Megan M | March 05, 2013 at 07:43 AM
Wow!! What a review...so informative!! She has a future in publishing!
Posted by: Robin | March 05, 2013 at 08:07 AM
Fiona, I loved it! WIll show it to Hannah when she gets home!
Posted by: Teresa Kennedy | March 05, 2013 at 04:11 PM
Fantastic fashion and beauty advice... and so well reviewed but such a talented young writer!
Agreed on the whole 'vintage' label for anything 1968 on up... if I LIVED it, it can't be vintage yet!
Posted by: jenni | March 08, 2013 at 09:30 AM
OMG! She is hilarious! I love her....
Posted by: Lisa Lee | March 10, 2013 at 10:50 AM
Good job Fiona! You're quite the blogger. Now I need to go practice taking my jacket on and off...
Posted by: Monyca | March 17, 2013 at 01:39 PM
so cute little girl she is !
Posted by: charmingdate.com review | May 20, 2013 at 03:00 AM