Tool Safety Charts for Pregnant Dummies

As promised, here are a few more finds from our trip to Madison Bouckville...

These were our biggest purchases. And I just about died when I saw them. Three mid-century anatomical wall charts that were in a college lecture hall: the brain, the heart and eye/ear.

This "55 or Bust" basketball game is dated 1924. Chris and I both played basketball in high school, so we love anything vintage basketball. He thought I overpaid for it ($30), but I did a little research when we got home, and saw that the same game sold for $120 on an online auction (not eBay). We won't price it that high, though. Because we like to actually sell stuff.

We bought this blue beadboard wall cupboard and the wooden roller skate case in NY. Chris already sold the case to a member of a local roller derby team. So cool! The Havertown Beverage crate and seltzer bottles were PA purchases.

Have you ever seen a Scamp? It's a brand of fiberglass travel trailers. This is a nameplate that was pulled from one. They date as early as 1971, and are still being made today.

I also found Keith's Theatre Dress Circle tag - I think that was handed out when you checked your coat. Keith's opened in 1901 in Philadelphia, and was renamed the Randolph Theater in 1949, so I'm guessing that this is from the thirties or forties.

And then there's the 1949 Girl Scout catalog. So many cute things! I love these colorful handkerchiefs and headbands (although the ginger girl scout looks likes she crazy-glued her eyelids open):

Look at this hot babe in a Girl Scout bathing suit. Not conducive to fetching firewood, I reckon.

Here's the real reason I bought this catalog: the beat-up camera ad on the back cover. I found the same Kodak Girl Scout Jem Jr. camera on eBay - it sold for $76. I guess I'm not getting one anytime soon.

More safety charts!

"Pack a wallop?"  It's called ELECTROCUTION.

I find it hard to believe that this guy really broke a limb...that ladder is not very tall. 

He looks like he's trying to break the wood with his eyebrows. I think he did this on purpose. He likes it.

This one brings back a terrible, horrible memory of my own eye injury...

No, I wasn't operating a grinder while wearing a necktie. I was installing Pottery Barn shelves while 41 weeks pregnant.

Twas the night before my scheduled c-section with Maeve back in 2004. (Just for context - Finn was born 17 days after his due date via c-section, weighing in at 10 lbs 7oz. I didn't want to go that late with Maeve and risk giving birth to another toddler, so we scheduled a c-section seven days after her due date with the high hopes that she would be born earlier).

Maeve's nursery was pretty much complete. But at the last minute, I decided to hang a pair of Pottery Barn wall shelves that I had just bought at a floor sample sale. I HAD TO GET IT DONE. It was 7pm on the evening before my 7am appointment to give birth. I busted out my electric drill and got to work.  

The walls had ugly paneling that we had painted lime green several weeks earlier. As I drilled into the paneling to create a hole for the screw, tiny daggers of pressed wood shot into my eye. I didn't have safety googles on because I was filled with pregnancy hormones that made me do really dumb things. (Please note: As soon as Maeve was born, I became a genius again.)

We had our neighbor watch 20-month-old Finn while Chris drove me to the very same hospital where I was set to give birth in 12 hours. I waited in the Emergency Room for an hour, bawling like a baby the whole time. It really, really hurt. Like, really a whole lot. I don't know any other way to describe the pain, other than it's like when someone pokes a stick in your eye, but that's not a very good analogy.

Here's where my vintage anatomical chart comes in handy:

Keep in mind that I was ENORMOUS. No one in the ER knew that I was there for an eye injury - they assumed that I was about to give birth, crying from painful contractions. Some of the patients were concerned that they were going to have to help me give birth, right there in the waiting room. I think I saw a few of them nervously gathering towels and bowls of hot water.

When I finally saw the doctor, I made him promise that whatever drops he was going to put in my eye would not prevent me from giving birth the next morning. I didn't want to fall into the Finn trap, where the doctor keeps saying, "Oh - you're fine. Let's wait a few more days", and then I give birth to a baby hippo.

After he assured me that my plans wouldn't have to change, the doctor dropped some type of liquid crack into my eyeball and the pain stopped immediately. I asked him if I could take it home, and maybe drink it or sell it on the streets for extra diaper money. But he said no - it was too dangerous. He said that people actually try to steal it from the ER. I still wonder what that magic drug was called. (I was dumb back then, so I can't remember the name).

I went home and took this stunning photo of myself.

I woke up the next morning, feeling good enough to welcome a baby into the world without the need of an eye patch.

 

The moral of the story is to never poke holes in crappy paneling without eye goggles on the eve of giving birth. I hope that by sharing my story, I've helped at least one person out there...

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Don't forget, Philly folks! We'll be selling at Clover Market on Sunday from 10am to 5pm. Visit the website for the complete list of vendors...it's a looong list! Also, if there is something you've seen on my blog or Facebook page that you want me to bring to Clover, please send me an email or facebook message. 

Comments

[barbara]

Lesson learned. Thanks for sharing, Colleen. I feel safer this weekend already!

[Christina]

Any chance I could buy a couple of those safety charts, and could they be shipped?

[pigtown*design]

you CRACK me up!

Have you seen the flea markey style mag with Mary Kay Andrews in it? or is this old news?

[Gina @ VintageJunkinMyTrunk]

I'm sorry, but that is the funniest story ever. And those eye drops ARE magic wonder drugs; I myself wondered why I couldn't just take the whole damn bottle with me when I had my own eye(s) injury. Good luck at Clover!

[one gal's trash]

Great stuff, swell story, fetching eye patch!
xox
Pam

[Leslie @ Salvaged Spaces]

This was so hilarious! I can just picture the fear in your eyes when you first gave birth to a toddler/hippo... and then the shard in your eye the second time around! lol Isn't pregnancy and birth so much fun? ;)

[SamovarKath]

How in the WORLD did you manage to look fabulous in a hospital hairnet whilst having your abdomen cracked open?? You are amazing, Colleen...

[JessicaD]

Hi there - wondering if you are planning to sell the three anatomical posters at the top of this post and where you will sell them/for how much? I love them! Many thanks! Jessica

[janejane]

The eye drops were probably Tetracaine. Same ones sometimes used for cataract surgery. Instant numb. Just found your blog and enjoying looking around.