Buy a bottle of Old Fart wine, and tie Stool Softener to the top. Dulcolax would be my stool softener of choice. Add some fresh greens, a couple of vintage mini ornaments, red & white baker's twine and voila! Something sure to offend the real old farts, but hopefully get a laugh out of all the fun farts.
P.S. If I found Old Fart wine in Pennsylvania, the state with the oldest and fartiest selection of wines, then I am sure you can find it near you.
Read the whole list of fresh gifts.