Here are a few tips on how to prepare your home for a hurricane, specifically for people who can't fit another damn thing in their garage.
Here's what my deck normally looks like:
Here's what it looks like now:
Most of my neighbors were able to actually put all of their furniture into their garages. I know - that is AMAZING! Like a miracle sent straight from God Himself. Not us, we bought some super-strong bungee cords and secured all of our furniture directly to the deck railings. I bet my neighbors are all in pain right now, from all that heavy-lifting. Bungee cords, dummies!
Tip #2: Move all of the junk that is on your front porch into your living room
Maybe your husband reads your blog and found out that you like typewriter tables, so he bought you every one within a fifty-mile radius. And since your garage is packed, you were storing the tables on your front porch, right next to your front door. Because that's where you like to do your typing. Anyway, just drag that junk inside, and plop it anywhere.
Tip #3: Keep the heaviest stuff on the porch because you are lazy
If you have any super heavy iron hospital beds, and you are too tried and hungover to bring them inside, just lay them down on the porch. If you get a second wind later in the day, you might want to bungee cord those to a porch column or something sturdy.
Tip #4: Don't buy a vintage camper on eBay and then send your husband and brother-in-law to pick it up in Michigan three days before a major hurricane. And then don't buy the biggest tarp in the history of tarps, and make your tired husband cover the camper, even though he had just towed it 700 miles in the rain, and there were no leaks.
Can't wait to show you what it looks like! I want to make sure it survives the hurricane first. Don't want to get my hopes up.