I thought I'd share a few of my more humorous finds of late.
This is a set of seven books in the Plain Language Money-making series. My favorites are "How to Scheme Your Way into Profit" and "How to Legally Avoid Paying Taxes". These are from the 1960s, so I think some laws have changed since then (probably because of these books). To the man at Clover Market who bought them from me: Please don't drag me into any future law suits!
Boy, was I happy to find this sign. I am hoping it will once and for all keep the perverts from approaching my minivan. I'm always like "Get your leg off my bumper, you dirtbag!" Now, I can just point to this sign tucked into my windshield:
I bought it from the same dealer who sold me the Beaver Heaters. Here's what the sign really means. Should I still put it in my window? Probably not. I don't feel like explaining it to the kids.
But really, why the hell should I be worried about explaining the word "hump" when I should be more concerned about the look on my daughter's face after a woman told her that she could have these "butt sticks" for free at a yard sale.
Oh, the joy!
And, just to clarify, it was Maeve who referred to them as butt sticks, not the woman.
Maeve was SO EXCITED to show them to her friends when we got back from the yard sale. She ran into the backyard and was all like, "Hey guys, look at my butt sticks!" You would have thought that someone handed her a bunch of Zoobles, or maybe some new Wii game. Nope, just four vintage "Bottoms Up" swizzle sticks. THAT I SAW FIRST!
I bought this giant pin just because it had 69 on it. Purely a Beavis and Butt-head moment.
This is the second Dribble Glass that I've found in the past six months. I think these glasses are funny, but the text on the box drastically overstates the humor: "The funniest of all funny jokes" and "The funniest joke you ever saw...The victim just drools...Doesn't know what's wrong".
I am not showing a photo of the actual glass, because I want to try it out on my neighbors the next time they come over for a drink. I can't wait for someone to say "I don't know what's wrong!", and then frantically dial 911 because he thinks he's having a stroke. Now that would be funny. I mean, strokes aren't funny. Not at all. But someone thinking that they are having a stroke but they are really just drinking from a dribble glass is definitely funny.
lol that is the dirtiest blog post i have ever read. love it!!! and ewww on the dirtier carpet carpet
Posted by: susan | June 16, 2011 at 06:26 PM
Life has been busy and I haven't had a chance to read your blog in a while...but am so glad I did today!! HAHAHA! Love it, made me laugh!!
"I can't wait for someone to say "I don't know what's wrong!", and then frantically dial 911 because he thinks he's having a stroke. Now that would be funny..."
You are a riot!
Posted by: Jennifer Pebbles | June 16, 2011 at 06:55 PM
Looks like those butt sticks could use a beaver heater.
Sorry. Really, really sorry.
Posted by: Into Vintage | June 16, 2011 at 10:25 PM
These are great!!
Posted by: BeckyKay | June 17, 2011 at 10:29 AM
The butt sticks are my favorite! haha. Maeve is too cute.
Posted by: Dana | June 17, 2011 at 03:09 PM
You have really outdone yourself with these finds!
Posted by: Jenny | June 17, 2011 at 03:15 PM
Couldn't you just clean up your act and buy some Bibles and rosaries and Cemetery Mary statues like Sue? (JK)
Posted by: mary kay andrews | June 17, 2011 at 10:07 PM
lol great post who would of thought i would of stumbled across this post tonight which has made me chuckle.. but sticks lol
Posted by: sheena | June 18, 2011 at 06:04 PM
So fun! I wish I could jump in my van and ride to Clover Market to buy that sewing machine!! The color is a favorite of mine~I guess shipping would be phenomenal even if you didn't sell it already. Maybe one day.... suesue
Posted by: suesue | June 19, 2011 at 06:45 AM
The butt sticks are funny... but the pic of Maeve WITH the butt sticks... that is hilarious!! I'm loving the sign - I have a sister who needs that one. Thanks for the laugh this morning!
Posted by: Ellen | June 19, 2011 at 12:46 PM