My collection of crocheted genital-warmers is growing. (You don't hear that sentence very often, do you?!)
Well, if a man can have a Peter Heater, shouldn't a woman have the equivalent? I found one at the Head House Square Flea Market on Doomsday - May 21, 2011. If this find isn't a sign of the Apocalypse, I don't know what is.
Here's the box it came in:
But wait! I didn't get just one. I bought two from the same vendor, Lo and Behold Antiques.
Here are Mi Lady's matching beauties. One is a tad dirtier than the other, but I am really trying not to think about it too much or else I'll vomit a little in my mouth.
And don't you love how the colors match the "Super Guy" in the first photo above? They were meant for each other.
The button in the middle actually opens to reveal a hole.
The "instructions" that are printed on the box lid are completely inappropriate and insensitive. But, at the very least, they give us an idea of when these were made.
My favorite line is: "attach at each corner with BEST four curls". Oh, so that's how it's supposed to be attached! Silly me, I was picturing the careful placement of barrettes and bobby pins and maybe a little hot glue.
Now....the big question: What shall we call the female version of the Willie Warmer? I came up with a few names (with some help of my sisters and husband):
- Woo-Woo Warmer
- Carpet Carpet
- Mi Lady's Muff Mitten
- Beaver Heater
- Welcome Mat for Penises
What's your favorite name? Can you think of any others? Are you totally repulsed by this blog post? Did you just unsubscribe and remove me from your favorites?