This was a total American Pickers-style score. Except I didn't have to dig through 57 outbuildings. I found this huge (2.5 feet by 4.5 feet) enamel sign for "Mary's Cafe" at a local estate clean-out shop. I don't know who Mary is or if her cooking is any good. But I know that I am happy to have scored her sign, especially since my mother-in-law is named Mary. And Maeve's middle name is Mary. And my grandmother and aunt are named Maryellen. And I went to St. Mary's School for eight years.
And what's better than one sign?
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Two huge signs for Mary's Cafe! The second one is a bit more rusty, but is still pretty cool. I'm trying to convince Chris that we need to hang it in our kitchen. But we might need to remove some cabinets and appliances in order to fit it on our wall.
Speaking of Christmas, if you follow me on Facebook, you saw the photos of my kids helping me assemble my vintage aluminum Christmas tree. I decorated it a few days later with some of my favorite ornaments.
It is a little sparse. I didn't add lights because I was afraid it would set the house on fire. I hung a few of my favorite Shiny Brites on it, along with a strand of glass-glittered garland that my mother-in-law bought me when I was in Yakima a few years ago.
When I bought the enormous lot of vintage Christmas ornaments from a stranger in October, one of the things I kept for myself was a strand of mini paper lanterns. I don't even know if they are really old, but I know that they look perfect on this tree.
The glittery Christmas village at the bottom of the tree is home to Lego Santa and his reindeer (found at a yard sale for a buck - with the instructions). And, yes, that is a helicopter on top of that house - I guess the reindeer aren't getting the job done fast enough. The Lego Christmas tree is an original creation by Maeve.
Speaking of reindeer, have you heard about about the one that we brutally slaughtered on the way to a Christmas tree farm a few weeks ago? For the life of me, I can't think of a better way to kick off the holiday season.
It was a nine-point buck that gracefully lept in front of our 42-days-old minivan. That deer ended up giving us some great presents this Christmas: a new hood, windshield, passenger side door, radiator and $6300 worth of other brand new parts for our brand new vehicle.
This is just the thing you want to happen on the way to a sleepover at your sister's house where you were planning to cut down a Christmas tree and drink hot chocolate with her two little kids and your own two little kids. We had hyped this up for weeks. Finn and Maeve could have cared less about Limping Blitzen. They were bawling about the cancelled sleepover.
There were many witnesses to the accident, but only one man stopped. He parked his pickup truck, walked over to us and asked Chris, "Do you want the deer?" Chris said no, and the man waited around for the cop to kill the dying deer so he could carry away his trophy. He didn't bother to ask if we needed help. (We were all totally fine, but he didn't know that.)
Blitzen had to be shot three times by the policeman because he simply refused to die. It was that final shot to the brain that did the trick. Which leads me to surmise that this was a zombie deer. He jumped onto our minivan in an undead attempt to feed on our flesh. I'm so glad we weren't bitten. That definitely would have ruined Christmas. I can just picture Maeve on Christmas morning trying to feed on all of the neighborhood kids while wearing her cute holiday PJs. Can you tell I've been watching The Walking Dead?
Anyway, we were standing around waiting for our nice neighbors to pick us up, and I realized that I had my video camera in my purse. I was bored and I have a blog and yadda, yadda, yadda...I taped the deer being shot (just the first time). I only wanted to tape the shooting in case the cop "accidentally" shot the douchebag deer poacher who was waiting for his prize. I'm not sharing the video because I don't want people protesting in front of my house while I'm enjoying my Christmas dinner (no - it won't be venison). And I would not like to be invited to the Today Show to be berated by Meredith Viera for taping such a horrible act of violence. (Even if it was against a zombie. I really should be praised.)
Here's a still shot from the video. It was far away, so you can't see much.
Once the deer was dead, the cop helped the douchebag carry the deer to his pickup truck. I hope that deer tastes like shit. Shit stuffed with maggots that have crabs. And I hope that all of your friends love yard sales and read my blog. And I hope they recognize you from the above picture. Now they know that the new deer hanging over your mantel was not killed by your amazing firearm skills. It was killed by a soccer mom driving a minivan.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!