The Freaky Yard-Saling Neighbor

I hope I didn't accidentally sell my soul to the devil after those three four five glasses of wine with my neighbors last weekend. The past week of junking has been stupendous. Between the huge old basket, the robin's egg blue rocking chair, the quilts and the paint-by-numbers, I'm a little worried that, in a drunken stupor, I may have promised some sexual favors to satan in exchange for cheap antiques. It is all so blurry.

I actually bought more than the $100 worth of stuff that I photographed for this post, but my neighbors came over while I was taking pictures, and I was embarrassed to bring out the other stuff. They all think I'm a yard-saling/blogging freak, so I didn't want to make myself look any worse.

Hiding behind that aqua shelf in the lower right hand corner is this homemade navy blue wooden toolbox with a leather handle.  It has two lift-out compartments. I love the look of it, but I realized today that it smells like poop. Yeah, that's what I said. Poop. What could someone have possibly used this for that would make it smell so awful? Maybe the previous owner whittled small animals from dried feces, and kept his carving tools in this box? Who the hell knows. Anyone have any other guesses?

Here's a Louis Sherry candy tin, a set of painted Hazel Atlas jars, a round grater and an old panda planter.

I bought so much at one lady's yard sale that she threw in the pink chamber pot free of charge! She had about five of those old chamber pots. She should have busted out the Sharpies and made a sign that read, "Spend $20, get a free shitter!"

As my dog-loving and -wanting husband will attest, I am not much of a dog person. But these were too hard to resist. And so much easier to take care of than the real thing.

I bought this quilt during a lunch-time trip to the fancy-schmancy thrift store that I talked about here.  The tag said "$12.50  - As is".  I opened it up and expected to see a giant hole in the middle, or maybe a big disgusting blood stain. Nope. It is just a little worn here and there, but it is otherwise in beautiful condition.

I bought the yo-yo quilt top at a different thrift store. The woman who rang me up was maybe - oh, jeez, I'll take a wild guess - 117 years old.  She thought it was from the 1930s.

Everything in the first photo is sitting on top of this huge metal under-bed storage box. It is a little bent, but I've never seen anything like it. It has an embossed rose on the top. 

I spotted this box filled with junk at a yard sale. It originally had a big ugly lamp in it, too. The homeowner told me he would take $2 for the whole box. He looked a little annoyed when I told him that I didn't want the lamp.  'Well, it still costs two dollars!"  Whatever, sucker.

Most of the silver was made by Colonial Silver Company. It is quadruple-plated, which apparently doesn't mean that it was plated four times. But I don't understand it enough to explain it here, so I'll let Abe do the talking.

Can you see the monogram? F-S-Mac-F. Hmmm...Fergal Seamus MacFarland?

The copper pan ALONE is worth at least $25 on eBay.  It is by Philippe La France.

Alas, my neighbor spotted it while I was taking pictures, and I gave it to her. She's been thinking about buying a set of copper cookware and was shocked at how expensive they are. Who's the yard-saling freak now, byatch?!

Comments

[Kimberly]

Huge Huge score!! I have to say I think the world needs more neighbors like you!! Love the blog - Keep up the good work!

[Sarah]

We won't even talk about how jealous I am of those quilts, which would be so lovely in the projik cabinet. It took me TEN years to find a grandmother's flower garden quilt, and I am a die hard junker!

I had one of those aluminum rose boxes once. I might still in the attic, but I think I got rid of it.

[brigita]

Any blogging yard saler that cusses like an actual sailor is TOPS in my book.

PS: If you see Satan again, tell him to look me up. That copper pan is making me drool.

[Chelle]

i think i just peed my pants...you crack me up...and, probably yourself!! you do, don't you?

i want to live where you live...my thrift stores suck...and, the bad stuff they do have, they think is worth LOTS so they charge LOTS...whatever...

[Amanda]

Nice haul woman!

[mR]

damn, you crack me up.

[joanna Palmer]

Ha ha I LOVE your style. My hubby and I have been rolling with laughter over your closing byatch! Thanks for the fun. I wish we had yard sales in the UK. Car-boot sales are never quite the same and everything is just so crap over here.

[Susan Phillips]

Wow, and I thought I was lucky gitting a bamboo sofa table for $3.

[mary]

Listen, Lady. I live far away from you and am tired of coveting what you buy. Can ya put your stuff on eBay for us to buy? Pleeease?

[Rebecca]

LOL! This is the funniest post I've read in awhile. :) As usual, WONDERFUL finds! Love the Collie painting!!!

[terri]

Your a so freakin funny..... and what a great haul, I want to come hunting with you...

[Shara]

I think your poopy smelling box is a tack box that once held tools used to clean the aforementined poop and dirt out of horseshoes (on the horse's foot).

Your finds and your sense of humor are right up my alley.

[sarabeth]

Maybe the smelly box maybe held gardening tools and thus smells like old manure?
My 6-year-old and I both have freaky noses--notice smells more than many people--and this time of the year I can hardly stand to be in a yard that has been freshened up with new manure/mulch. I keep thinking, nice flowers, yeah, but it smells, like, poop! That new cocoa mulch stuff, on the other hand...
Great finds, esp those quilts!

[gail]

You make me laugh! What a hoot, thanks for making my day.

[Rosemary]

You are hilarious!!
I'm sure your neighbor loved the copper. That was nice of you.
Have a great weekend!
Rosemary

[HollyHobby]

The "metal underbed storage box" is actually designed for a wedding dress. I had one just like it!

[Blondie]

Great finds!

Our thrift shops around here have either closed down or are full of crap. The flea market or garage sales yield the best stuff now.

Your poopy box? I suspect some cat used it as a litter box. And don't count on getting rid of the poop smell if you prime and paint it. Even then it could still reek.

Take it from someone who unfortunately bought a shit smelling box before.

Blondie

[Lee W.]

We had one of thos aluminum under the bed boxes growing up. We used to try to get in it! Nice haul, girl! Loving the yo-yo quilt- next on my list of "wants".

[Lee W.]

PS- wonder if that box was used by a blacksmith?

[erin]

The last line is hysterical. My neighbors are the same. They laugh that I buy so much yard sale & thrift shit when in a group, but then they complement me on my home decor...never adds up... or they privately will ask me if they could come along on my saturday morning sale-ing...hmmm. They are just a bunch of retail store snobs (just kidding, neighbors, that is, if your are reading my sister's blog that I tell you about all the time!)

[Joy]

YOU CRACK ME UP! This blog is the perfect place for me - great thrifting finds combine with the most witty, scarcastic humour - YOU ROCK!

[Jen]

WOW< you hit the mother load!! I love the quilts and the lovely blue rocker!

[Michelle]

Wow! What great finds! I was having a few weeks of amazing thrift store luck like that and poof! it's was gone as quickly as it started! LOL!
Actually, truthfully, I have seen some good things, I just ran out of spending money because of my previous good luck! I LOVE the yo-yo quilt and the other quilt, too! And what a steal!

[erinberry]

your funniest post yet :)

[Karen]

I think the box was used to shit in. Plain and simple. The owner obviously never took the time to befriend the neighbor down the street with the five chamber pots.