Bon Voyage
I will be MIA for a while, once again. We are meeting Chris' very wonderful and generous parents in Puerto Rico today for the start of a seven-day Caribbean cruise. It is our family's first cruise, and my in-laws ninth. I'm a little nervous about being on the open seas, but it is nothing that Dramamine and few cocktails can't remedy. Chris and I have a very detailed plan for smuggling booze onto the ship. The cruiseline allows each guest to bring one bottle of wine onto the ship. Finn has a thing for Pinot Noir and Maeve just adores Shiraz. We aren't breaking the rules, right? One bottle per person. This is making my father-in-law very uneasy. I guess he didn't read my post about bringing Absinthe into the US. I'm a professional now...he has nothing to worry about.
I thought I would leave you with a holiday gift...a few of my favorite keywords that people have typed into search engines to find my blog. It makes sense that someone would find my blog after typing in "peter heater". It doesn't make sense that someone would google "fondling her breasts" and my blog would appear in the results.
My favorites:
raccoon penis
atlantic city boardwalk armless legless
damn it doll made by nuns
fondling her breasts
how to make a bed spread out of raccoons
knitted cock
vintage granny panties
tie up agirl and shave her youtube
1940's panties
doll macing
maced by hookers
crack whore hooker pics
my mommy's garter belt
hookers in atlantic city
hookers in ocean city
hookers in scranton
hookers caught on tape
new jersey shore whore
And, my absolute favorite:
i found a hooker in my yard, what should i do
Happy Holidays, Everyone! Hope you don't find a hooker in your yard on Christmas morning!
o my gosh... my stomach hurts... are you for real... I know the answer, you are... that is hilarious!! have a great trip!
Posted by: erin | December 15, 2007 at 07:25 AM
OMG I nearly peed my pants laughing. Oh no, and now peeing in your pants will come up in some dodgy searches too!! My favorite is tie up agirl and shave her youtube! Mental!
Posted by: Ruthanne | December 15, 2007 at 07:45 AM
Hilarious post! Have a wonderful time you lucky girl....looking forward to seeing some holiday snaps.Merry Christmas from me in the UK!
Posted by: Gill | December 15, 2007 at 08:29 AM
OMG OMG I found a hooker in my yard what should I do? LOLOLOL
Posted by: Sarah | December 15, 2007 at 11:08 AM
Gosh what a coincidence I found a hooker in my yard today and she was waving her vintage grannie panties in one hand and her dammit doll in the other. She told me it was made by nuns.
bon voyage!
Posted by: Pam | December 15, 2007 at 02:45 PM
May I ask how you come up with these search engine entries? I would like to check them out for my blog!
Posted by: The Chatty Housewife | December 15, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Have a wonderful cruise! I'll keep my eye out for hookers. ;)
Cheers ~ Rebecca
Posted by: Rebecca | December 17, 2007 at 04:54 PM
You are so funny!!
Have a wonderful time on the cruise. Good luck with the smuggling.
Rosemary
Posted by: Rosemary | December 17, 2007 at 05:58 PM
HAHAHAH!
Happy Holidays to you too!
I came across your blog thru Delightful Blogs - I LOVE IT!
Posted by: MeLiSsA | December 18, 2007 at 11:23 AM
This is the funniest and best blog post Ever! How hysterical. I just loved it.
Cathy
treasuredheirlooms.net
Posted by: Cathy Scalise | December 20, 2007 at 03:46 PM
That is so funny! Lotsa hookers around here...
Have a great time on your cruise!
Posted by: Samantha | December 20, 2007 at 04:31 PM
Have a wonderful time on the cruise and happy holidays to you and yours.
Posted by: Lisa | December 21, 2007 at 01:19 AM
That is TOO funny! Happy holidays!
Posted by: Christine | January 02, 2008 at 05:06 PM